Parenting with ADHD

Being a parent can be demanding and challenging at times. This is true for all parents, but perhaps even more so for parents who themselves have ADHD. In this article, we explore the unique challenges parents with ADHD may face, what kinds of support are available, and what the concept of being a “good enough” parent really means in this context.

Parenting with ADHD - What Challenges Can Arise?

Parenting with ADHD often means facing high demands for planning, coordination, and patience. Family life requires remembering schedules, organising groceries, and getting children to activities – all things that may be particularly difficult for those who struggle with organisation in everyday life.

If you are a mother or father with ADHD, you may recognise that inattentiveness and impulsivity affect not only you but also your children in various situations.

ADHD Symptoms That Affect Parents in Everyday Life

Difficulties with planning and details

Many people with ADHD find it hard to plan and carry out daily activities. This may include forgetting schoolwork, not managing to cook meals on time, or missing important dates. Parents may find that their children’s needs risk being overlooked when their own daily logistics feel overwhelming.

Impulsivity and mood swings

Impulsivity is another common symptom of ADHD. For a parent, this can sometimes create an unstable environment, with sudden mood swings that leave children feeling uncertain or unprepared for changes.

Restlessness and patience

Many adults with ADHD describe a constant inner restlessness, making it hard to sit still or wait their turn. This can make everyday conversations with children stressful and may lead to irritation – particularly if children themselves take a long time to explain something or are unfocused.

Why Routines Matter for Parents with ADHD

Having clear routines in the family is often key to reducing stress for both parents and children. These routines can cover mornings, bedtimes, schoolwork, or screen time. Predictability helps reduce conflict and misunderstandings.

  • Morning routine: Decide in advance who handles breakfast and who helps children with clothes or school bags.

  • Afternoon and evening: Plan time for snacks, homework, and winding down. A simple checklist on the fridge can make routines easier to follow.

  • Weekends and activities: Planning shopping or outings ahead of time reduces impulsive and stressful decisions.

Start by identifying which situations in your family cause the most stress or conflict. Often, these are the times when clearer routines would help the most. Involve other family members – including the children – in creating the plan. Try it for a few weeks, then review together and adjust as needed.

Support and Resources for Parents with ADHD

Whether you yourself have ADHD or your child does, it can be difficult to know where to turn for the right support. Here are some common resources:

  • Mental health services – Many areas provide adult ADHD services including medication, therapy (such as CBT), and support for building daily strategies.

  • Support organisations – In the UK, charities like ADHD UK and ADHD Foundation provide resources, support groups, and information for parents and adults with ADHD.

  • Local parenting programmes – Some councils and NHS services run parenting support groups or courses tailored to families with neurodevelopmental conditions.

Seeking support early can reduce stress and help you feel less alone in the challenges of parenting.

When Both Parent and Child Have ADHD

In many families, it’s not only the child who has ADHD but also a parent. This can lead to “double challenges” – where both struggle with restlessness, impulsivity, and organisation. Some practical tips include:

  1. Break tasks into smaller steps – Instead of “clean the whole house”, divide it into smaller, manageable jobs.

  2. Use visual support – Calendars, checklists, or apps can help structure the day. Visual aids work well for both adults and children.

  3. Allow yourself breaks – Take short pauses to reset if you feel restless or frustrated. If possible, share childcare responsibilities with a partner or another adult.

  4. Incorporate play – Physical play such as cycling, outdoor games, or hide-and-seek helps channel energy positively while strengthening family bonds.

By trying and adjusting these strategies, parents with ADHD can create more balance and stability at home.

Being a “Good Enough” Parent with ADHD

Many parents with ADHD feel inadequate or pressured by unrealistic ideals of perfection. The concept of “good enough” parenting means accepting that no one is perfect – and that your parenting does not have to be flawless to be loving and supportive.

  • Lower the bar: You don’t need to attend every school activity or cook from scratch every day to be a caring parent.

  • Encourage yourself: Focus on your successes and give yourself credit. Forgetting a lunchbox or form doesn’t make you a bad parent.

  • Seek community: Connecting with other parents who have ADHD – online or in local support groups – can provide reassurance and shared understanding.

Letting go of perfectionism paves the way for a calmer and more present parenting style. It helps you see that you truly are “enough” for your children – even with ADHD.